Forgotten Memories
by Sliver of Light
Summary: 500 years ago, Goku met Nataku, Konzen, Tenpou and Kenren... he forgets them...500 years later, he sees them again but differently... will he forget them again?


**Author's notes: **Some parts are taken from one episode of the anime, though not accurately. I hope you enjoy this one… just thoughts… Goku's thoughts…

**FORGOTTEN MEMORIES**

_I was alone… all alone, waiting for someone to take me out of this place. Out of this darkness. If not… I need someone just to be with me… to stay with me… I was scared that's why… I had nothing. I had no one. No one to accompany me, no one to give me warmth, no one to love me, no one at all… just no one… All I had was the cruel stares of the gods. Foreboding they always seemed to me. None of them wanted to come close… drew near… they feared my aberrant strength… for a kid my age, they always took me for some madman… I couldn't even remember what I did to deserve this… Maybe it has been like this all the time… This was how they treated creatures like us… we're not humans… we're not gods… I for one is neither, they said… I'm a monster… a heretic… And heaven is no place for someone like me…_

_I was… about to give up… exile myself, until I met him… He gave me light… he gave me warmth… just like the sun…_

_I was about to give up again… when I met this boy… just like me… I liked him very much… why… he treated me like a friend… not just that… he accepted me for who I am… a heretic… I was his friend… _

_Now this sun... he was different… though how bright he was… he was cold. I could tell, he didn't like me though he didn't say… he easily gets annoyed whenever I do something… he yells at me, calls me names, and even whacks me at the head… but… amidst all these things… he proved my thoughts wrong… he cared for me… he showed it differently… almost painfully… but I know he did… really did… and that mattered a lot to me…_

_Now this boy… he was like me… in fact, we were so alike many mistake us for brothers… that rarely happened though… only outside the walls of Heaven… for inside, they knew who he was… a fighting god… a Toushin Taishi… I always felt detached whenever I heard the gods say this… I even tried to push him away… only he was too compelling that I failed… I liked that in him… at least, he made me feel… how to have someone who treats you like an equal… no rules… no exceptions… who cares if he's a god and I'm not… he's my friend… and that mattered a lot to me…_

_It would've been so wonderful if that lasted forever… too bad it didn't… one moment… they were all there… another… they're gone… lost… I didn't like how it felt… it was so cruel… just like those gods' stares… _

_But then… there was always hope… I didn't know that life in Heaven could be fun… there was the red haired guy who loved nothing but wine and women… I could clearly remember his reaction every time I called him 'oji san'… I admired his courage… he could stand up to his officers with arrogance… he was bigmouthed alright… but at least, all he said was true… whenever the sun was not around or he was busy doing work, this red-haired guy would be taking care of me… not in a way that he babysits me but he makes sure I'm under his eyes… to some it could be annoying but to me… it felt great to have the full attention of someone over you…_

_Like oji san, there was another acquaintance of my sun who gave me importance… the man with a beautiful face… he was the man who loved to smile… he ranked higher than red head but he wanted to become his adjutant… it was an idea which annoyed my 'just-like-the-sun' caretaker… the smiling man loved children… so he easily got my trust… my laughter… almost everything… at first I thought he was just like the other gods out there who saw heretics as heretics… no more, just that… again… I was wrong… he proved to be on the good side… at least, on my side… he visited me almost everyday in my caretaker's office… he greeted, gave warm smiles and pleasant conversations… _

_Red head and smiling guy were opposite my sun… we got along very well… very well indeed that it made my caretaker resentful… he was funny every time he showed resentment… smiling guy would just apologize to calm him down… red head would just slip an arm around his shoulders… and it would be over… all the days in heaven, to me became very wonderful since I met the four… _

_Nataku would come out to play with me whenever he wasn't sent to earth by God to eliminate demons upsetting the balance between them and humans… when it wasn't his time to be the fighting god… _

_Kenren Taisho… I would find him sitting in a branch of a Sakura tree while drinking his wine and enjoying thoughts about beautiful women… I would play around him and he would be there, telling me to be careful… or he would be sitting me with talking about anything about how boring life in heaven is…_

_Tenpou Gensui… always there in his world of books, reading about wars between men on earth, about history… anything that interested him… he would go on for hours, looking for interesting reads… usually, every time I pay him a visit, I would find his room with books scattered everywhere… I even think he sleeps with them when I see stacks of books in one corner, high and wide enough for him to snuggle in… still, busy or not… he always had his smile… it could take away one's weariness… he was ever so kind to me… and so beautiful… always there… give you pieces of advice… help you hide from obnoxious gods… a very unlikely thing for a high ranking officer of heaven's west army… _

_Then there was this man… Konzen Douji… nephew of the Kanzeon Bosatsu… the long haired guy… the blonde… the beauty… the moment I set eyes on him… I saw him glow… his aura was very different compared to Ten-chan and Ken-san… He was like the sun… as bright as the sun… even more… He could've been more beautiful if he weren't so cranky… all the time, he was easily annoyed… bad-tempered… hot-headed… no love for wine or women… always with a gloomy atmosphere… he was the exact opposite of his two colleagues, that I always wonder how they manage to get along… yet… though he was like that… he was merciful… he was caring… he took me in… though grudgingly at first… but he did… not because it was ordered by the Goddess of Mercy… it was because he cared… and his eyes told me so… so deep… amethysts which were like jewels staring back at me… his touch was warm… it was his sign… the sign…of care…of love…I always remember him calling me names but it was he… who gave me who I am now… my identity… myself… my heart… _

_Spring… Summer… Fall… Winter… for everyday in every season of every year… we were together… I could, for the first time, say that heaven was friendly to me…I was not alone anymore… I had friends… I had my playmate… my uncle… my older brother… and my master… they were all different… we were all different… but what mattered was we all got along very well… we were like a team… just like how Kanzeon Bosatsu put it… we could never be separated… together we shared our laughters… our pains… problems involving both heaven and earth… we were always to be seen together… not apart… to the other gods, living like this for eternity was boring… to have only four people with you forever was not something really great to others… we didn't care though… as long as we're happy… we feel safe together… we are able to find comfort and love in one another… that's what matters… So…it was like this and like that… everything went right… continued on… moved on… for almost everyday… in 500 years…until…_

**------**

_I woke up one day… found myself shackled… alone in a desolated mountain… I tried to remember how everything happened… but before I could… I forgot… everything… who I am… why I was there… and that I was ever associated with gods… I knew that in the back of my memory they were there… but they were not now… they're the past… I'm in the present… and that's what's important at the moment…_

_In this god-forsaken cave, I also met a friend… he wasn't god… he wasn't human… but he was living… an animal just like me… but a bird… he came everyday… visited me… the only living creature who ever knew my existence… though I could not understand his words… I knew what they were… words of comfort… of kindness… something I have been deprived of for 500 years… it was like that and like that again… everyday… until he died… I tried to reach him… help him… give him warmth in my chained hands… give him back the kindness he had given me… but I failed… failed again… lost again…_

_I've waited… and waited… day and night… hoping someone would take me away… away from the darkness… away from the coldness of the wind that whipped my bare skin at night… away from the blinding rays of the sun… the sun… my sun… where was he?... who was he?... did he exist?... I held the natural but cold bars which kept me in prison… they were strong as ever… just like these shackles that bind me… _

_In a dream… I saw a boy… he was older than me… only a few years… that was how he looked… I can tell, though I'm five centuries older than him… there was something familiar in him… that same aura… same eyes… same hair… same everything… who was he?... I try to remember… think… think saru… but I couldn't… I've forgotten… he just looks familiar… that's all… he was looking at me… staring at me… coldly?... perhaps not… mercifully?... perhaps yes… I don't know… he was just there… unmoving in silence… is he important?... maybe yes… maybe no… but he was there… he was with me… and that was all I needed to know… _

_Suddenly… he started to go away… move away… glide away… he was leaving me… no… please… don't go away… I've tried to reach for him again… for the second time… I've tried to save something important… someone important… he didn't say… but I knew who he was… he was my savior… he was supposed to take me out… but he's leaving… he doesn't want me anymore… please… tasukete… I don't want to be left anymore… alone… abandoned… please…_

_I opened my eyes… found out it was all a dream… there was a single tear at the corner of my eye which I didn't bother to wipe… let it fall… fall to the earth where hopefully… someone would feel it… feel my pain… my sorrow… love… care… that's all I ever wanted… no more… freedom?... yes but… it's hard… I've always thought that someone would come and free me of this nightmare… I know who he is… that savior… he is real… I can sense it… if only I can remember… if only I know…_

_I looked at the east and saw the sun… everyday I see it rise… reminding me of something… gives me light… warmth… security… it was like my savior… staring at me… I lied back down again to enjoy its radiance… its feeling…_

_Then I realized something… I blinked… looked at the sun… and saw… a shadow on the earth… a shadow of a creature… something living… someone living… a human… I sighed… it must be another dream… yes… that's must be it… for so many years I've imagined someone to take me and free me that today was only the same as those days… imagination… images floating in my mind… playing with my consciousness…_

_I closed my eyes and waited for everything to end… this reiterating dream… it pains me to think about it over and over again… it just gives me sadness… longing more for a companion… _

_It's happening again… worst, I can feel the tips of the fingers of my savior on my cheek… this longing is starting to drive me mad… before, I just think about it but now I can even feel it!... I never thought loneliness could drive one crazy… warm was his hand against my cheek… I wanted to touch it… feel it… though I know disappointment will only dawn upon me… because it is not real… even though… I can feel its touch giving me strength… life…_

_I placed my hand on my cheek, expecting nothing… just my own skin against my hand… when to my surprise… there was a hand… a real hand cupping my cheek… I didn't know what to think then… my heart was beating fast… faster… faster every second I rested my hand on his skin… I decided to see who the owner of this hand was… who gives me warmth… and acceptance…_

_Opening my eyes slowly… I saw nothing at first… just a blurry outline of a boy… then when my eyes were fully opened, he was there… right before me… kneeling in front of me… the boy in my dreams… the one… as bright as the sun… clad in yellow robes… my master… my savior… my friend… _

_He didn't smile… but I could feel his compassion… only when he reached out a hand through the bars of the cave did I see a smile on his lips… I tried to reach out… and before I could place my palm over his, the shackles have melted away… it was like a miracle… just like a dream… a dream that has come true… has become the reality… it didn't matter anymore that I was stuck in this cave for so long… what mattered was I was with him… he has freed me… I never imagined that this time would come… the heretic… and the god, reach for each other's hands… _

_How happy I was that day… finally… to be able to see the whole world… free of chains… free of curses or anything else… I walked beside him… and looked at his face… it was held high… just like the sun… he realized I was staring at him… he looked at me without saying anything… just his stares… his meaningful stares… were enough for me… I understood what words they uttered… Don't worry now… everything's fine… I'm here… I'll never leave you for the world… for anything… I'll take care of you… forever… forever…_

_"Thank you" was the only phrase I could think of that moment… I looked at him directly in his amethyst eyes with these words coming from my mouth… Happiness again surged inside me when he gave his smile… his warm smile which changed everything… _

_Years passed and I came to know Genjo Sanzo better… the more I knew about him, the more I became close to him… he didn't drive me away… he never hid anything from me… he shared with me his life… what I admired the most in all those years was his unusual patience… he could always keep up with my wildness… well, he got mad every time he thought I was goofing around but, he still kept me… he could've just thrown me outside the temple, anyway, he just picked me up… but he didn't… and that, I was grateful for…_

_I always stayed at the temple where he was all the time… everyday I watched him do his duties… I didn't know monks had so many responsibilities… I just thought they prayed and prayed, night and day… but that was only a part of their work… they have to make services too… so many did they perform that I can hardly tell one from another… _

_Sanzo… it was a name that I always used to call him… I didn't know how significant it was… not to me though… to the monks who lived with him in the temple… Sanzo-sama, to be specific… everyday, when I accompany him to have his breakfast, monks would bow down and greet him that way… I look at him and see what his reaction would be… he was the highest ranking monk in the temple… not only in the temple I heard… even in the outside… in other places… _

_I was expecting him to be so proud and honestly, arrogant… but he didn't… in fact, he seems to be irritated being called that way… he would simply nod... no smiles… I have the strange feeling the only person he ever smiled at was me… another thing, he rarely answers greetings the monks give him… _

_Time passed and I thought he would never change… until I saw that even the sun that gives me light has its darkness… though not too much, thank God for that… I noticed how cranky he has become lately… at least crankier, than usual… I didn't know if it was me who caused his hotheadedness… but if it was me, he should've told me… every afternoon I look out from my window and see him venting out his anger on the monks… if he wasn't busy with the monks, he would be under the tree in the yard… chain-smoking… _

_Sometimes, if I feel confident, I approach him and ask what's wrong… if I had a good timing, I would receive a calm reply from him… well, if he's really in a bad mood, a yell or whack on the head with his holy fan would be appropriate… _

_There was a time I tried to ask why he kept using his holy fan on me when it was supposed to be 'holy'… it wasn't used for whacking a monkey… his answer?... another whack on the head… _

_Everyday, ever since he started becoming a hot head chain smoker… forgive me Sanzo for using the phrase… he started treating me his what?... pet?... do I really look like a saru?... I even have a new name now… 'baka saru'… stupid monkey… I may be stupid sometimes but I am definitely not a monkey… I kept pointing that to Sanzo… as usual, he replies through his um… unholy fan…_

_Unholy fan… holy fan… a thing which reminds me of something… a memory that has been forgotten… Sanzo… he looks so familiar…where have I seen him before?... in a dream… or… in the past… the forgotten memories of the past… who cares anyway… what matters is the present… _

_Most of the time, he acts weird… even violent… he might at times treat me like a servant… his pet… but that's only one part he lets others see… what I really do appreciate in Sanzo… is his unseen personality… something I alone could sense… one was, his fainessr especially when the temple monks always blamed me for everything… he always treated me just like the way he was treated… special… _

_I may very child-like and wild… playful, almost indifferent… I may not be telling him… yet… but deep in my heart… I know that… without him, I would still be in the cave in that ever-lonely mountain… without him, I would still be without a guide… a master… without him, I would still be longing for care… for love… without him, I would still be the heretic everyone thinks of… the monster… only Sanzo… Sanzo-sama… who made me feel how important life was… I could've easily ended my life if he didn't come… I was about to lose hope… one more day and… I don't know what could've happen… luckily, he was there… to free me… to take me away… to save me…_

_My life seems not to be enough to repay his kindness… but I know what my duty is… it is to give him protection… protection from the people who like to inflict him harm… protection from the demons he fails to exterminates using his sutras… protection from my real self without this golden headband… and most of all… protect from himself… his different and hard-to-get-along-with self…_

_I may have forgotten everything about me… in the past… past 500 years… but I know that this time… I will never forget… the man who took the darkness away… the god who brought light and radiance to my life… the love who gives comfort and security… the friend who continues to make everyday worth living… that is Sanzo… my Sanzo…_

**------**

_One day, he called me from my room… I was busy eating peaches that I pluck from the tree near my window… he had his crown… he was so majestic as though he was glowing… he looked so pretty… he could be compared to a girl… even much prettier… _

_He approached me… his gaze wandering through my room until… he looked directly at my golden eyes… he placed his hand over my head… his eyes were traveling on my hands… holding the peaches… _

_Goku… he said… Yes, Sanzo?... was my reply… what is that you're eating?... he asked again… peaches… you like some?... I said happily… I looked at him waiting for his reply… his eyes disappeared under his blonde bangs then… I should've known what was coming next when his hand disappeared in his robes… I sighed… of course… another whack in the head… he said I shouldn't have eaten any fruit from that tree… again… it was holy… holy holy holy… why is everything in this temple holy?... I kept asking myself… without trying to voice this out to Sanzo… _

_Come… he said when he was through with me… we're going to visit a friend… he said… A friend?... I wondered… he doesn't have any friend besides… me… I got up from the chair and followed him outside without any questions… we walked… walked and walked… we left the temple… traveled… _

_It was night when we got to someone's house… are we here already?... I asked him… be quiet... he said… I was grateful… no fans this time… I saw why he didn't bother to whack me… there was a man standing before us… a red head…_

_Red head… very familiar I thought… it's like I saw him somewhere before… even his scent was familiar… I could smell him from where I stood… he smelt of liquor… not that it was foul odor but… it was different… and there was another thing about him… he also smelt of women… he could be… exactly… just like… like the man from my forgotten memory… _

_I thought Sanzo and the red head were friends… why was a weapon drawn out?...red head was in a protective stance… he didn't want Sanzo to come near him… or his house… why though?... I thought Sanzo only came for a visit… why did he have to be that way… so many questions… queries… all left unanswered…_

_You have him… surrender him to me Sha Gojyo… Sanzo said… there was a steely tone in his voice… which I didn't like… the red head did not move… nor answered… he merely stood… stood with his weapon drawn… until…_

_I thought it was a demon… said Gojyo… You move stealthily… he added… then I saw him retract his weapon… he smiled and tried to walk towards us… Sanzo didn't budge… I could feel he was still on guard… I really didn't understand what was happening… who was there?... who did Gojyo have?... _

_I need to see him… said Sanzo through gritted teeth… he passed the red head and approached the door to the house… he had his hand on the knob… was about to pull when Gojyo placed a hand on Sanzo's shoulder… I tried to see clearly what he was planning so I walked closer to the two… Sanzo… I couldn't see his reaction… red head… he was mocking Sanzo… taunting him… why… no one does that to Sanzo… _

_You look so pretty… he said… you're even prettier than the woman I sleep with… know what?... I think I would let you in… well, only if you come to bed with me… I growled… I was angry… how dare he… how dare he say such things to Sanzo… I was about to lung at him when Sanzo did his move… brought out a gun and aimed it at the red head's chin… _

_Get your hands off me… was his words… Gojyo needed to give in… that's if he valued his life… I felt a smile on my face… that's Sanzo all right… never lets anyone have their way… He was about to turn the knob when Gojyo suddenly attacked him… he easily evaded his punch… he brought out his gun when red head used his weapon to disarm him… Sanzo found his gun flung out from his hands… meters away… if he ran for it… he might get it but he'll be exposing his back at the red head… he might be hit squarely…_

_That's when I got in the picture… I jumped to where the gun was but… a voice distracted me… distractions… why do they come when you least expect them?... Sanzo saw what I did… he wrestled the red head and they were trying to break each other's faces… I didn't have the gun yet… I was still distracted… the voice came from a man who just came out from Gojyo's house… he must've heard and felt that red head was in danger… he ran towards me and tried to take the gun from me… I was faster than him… I easily dodged him… but he was also good… _

_I got the gun and I threw it towards Sanzo… then suddenly… the man who attacked me jumped intercepted the gun… I was shocked… I didn't know he would do it… Sanzo had Gojyo pinned down… but I was the one in trouble this time… he was aiming Sanzo's gun at me… I knew that gun… it was an exorcism gun… it killed demons… and I was one… _

_I felt my hear beat go fast… go berserk… I was looking at the gun… but I noticed something… his hands were shaking… I could tell he didn't want to do what he was about to do… I also had the strange feeling Sanzo's eyes were boring on my back… it was creepy… _

_The man spoke and when he did… it was soft… it was almost pleading… for mercy?... no… he wanted one more chance… what chance?... why was he on the run anyway?... I wanted to ask what was wrong when he continued on… hands and voice trembling…_

_Please… he said… just let me do one more thing… let me finish one more job… and I promise… I'll go with you… those were his words… to me… didn't make sense… finish what?... coming with whom?... us?..._

_These questions were still playing on mind when he dropped the gun and ran away… to the woods… where he would meet demons… I looked at Sanzo… he was already standing… Gojyo was looking at him angrily…_

_Now look what you did, monk… came his angry words… he's gone… he went off all by himself… and he's not even well!... so, you want to arrest him for killing the family of a great demon clan… you don't even know why he had to… if he dies out there… will you be able to get him back anymore?... you don't know what I went through just to keep him alive!..._

_I don't care… that's your problem not mine… typical Sanzo's words… this is what I didn't like about him… how can he be so indifferent at a time like this… I don't know… then he called me… said we'll go after the man… I looked at Gojyo and saw him come with us… Sanzo didn't stop him… he just continued walking… taking the path the man who ran away took…_

_Cho Gono… was his name… he was a human… no, that was before… he had killed a thousand demons… making him a demon himself… I didn't know he had a very sad story… I heard it all from Gojyo… he said that Gono's girlfriend was kidnapped by the demon family… she was… raped by a demon… she had a child in her womb… Gono found her, alone in a cold cell… he wanted to save her… that was the reason he came for her… that was the reason he had to endure becoming a demon himself… he had to slaughter the whole house so that he could come for her… _

_He was so happy to see her… at least see her safe… everything could've gone right… if only… if only… the demon didn't do that to her… then he saw it… on her hands was a knife… a knife she will use… to kill… both demon and human… both herself and her baby… Gono was shocked to hear this… he wanted her to live… even the baby… but his girlfriend… Kana… she didn't want to bear the child of a demon and a human… a taboo child…_

_Red hair… red eyes… just like Sha Gojyo… the child was a taboo… born between a human and a demon… a child said to bring bad luck… and all kinds of curses… she didn't want to bring that on him and herself… so the only way was… to kill herself… and the child… commit suicide… it hurt… to do it right in front of her beloved… right in front of the man who almost died trying to get to her… just to find out she had been raped… and was planning all along to end her life… her misery…_

_We found Cho Gono at the bottom of a mountain… unconscious he was… tired I supposed… Gojyo tried to approach him… but… a gun was already out… threatening to fire its bullet if he moved another step… _

_You're taking him to the temple… Sanzo said… no buts… no arguments… you come with me… the Three Buddhas will give him… will talk to him… those were his words… I discerned that he wasn't certain with the last sentence he uttered… Sanzo started to walk again but Gojyo held his hand… not to hurt… but to ask… _

_I looked at Gojyo… expecting him to give Sanzo a punch… for being so detached… but to my relief… he didn't… he got Gono and I helped him up… we returned to the temple… at least Sanzo allowed Gono to take a rest first before he brought him to the Buddhas… I wonder what will happen to him… that night, Gojyo already left… he didn't tell me where he's off to at the moment… I just don't know if he had a private talk with Sanzo… just before he left with hard feelings… just the two of them… discussing things… _

_What's going to happen to him?... what will the Three Buddhas do with him… are they going to punish him?... Sanzo looked at Gojyo amethyst boring into blood red… no emotions flowing there… if he's lucky he'll live… but if not… they'll have him executed… they'll have Cho Gono killed… don't ask me to plead for his life… I won't do it… words he didn't expect… cold… too cold…_

_Next day… I awoke to find they were already gone…they weren't in the room anymore… good thing I went to the hall… I found them there just about to leave… I asked Sanzo if they were already off to see the Three Buddhas… a nod was enough for me to understand… _

_I thought it was the last time I'll be seeing his smile… Cho Gono… the man with the beautiful face… always happy… he used his smile to cover up his true feelings… it was his defense mechanism… it was obvious… he was faking his smile… if I were in his place, I would be nervous too… no doubt about that… _

_The red head… he was alone… walking on the streets of the little town… he was about to buy something for breakfast… I suppose… apples… they aren't enough but at least… better than nothing… _

_Red… so many things came into his mind every time he sees this color… His existence for one… his red hair… red eyes… sign of his being taboo… born of a human and a demon… a cursed child… he could remember… even as he stared at those apples… his stepmother's sorrow… hatred… to see him alive… only his brother cared for him when he was little… now, he wasn't even there… _

_This color reminded him of the recent events… the man he met the other day… he just came from the bar when he met him… dying the man was… blood was everywhere… he took him in… sheltered him… treated his wounds… and cared for him…_

_You're lucky… said Gojyo… you're the only man I have ever allowed to lay on my bed… only women usually stay there… the man who was sitting on his bed laughed… Is that so?... he asked… then I'm thankful… _

_What's your name?... _

_Gono… Cho Gono…_

_He was about to hand the payment for the apples to the lady when someone he thought was dead… has come back to life… he was beside him… that smile… that beautiful face… he never thought he would see him again… ever…_

_I waited… and waited… it was afternoon… then there was a knock on the door… I opened it to find Sanzo back… he was alone… but I was hoping someone would come back… I didn't close the door behind him…_

_Gojyo was with me then… he just had his hair cut… short… reminded me of someone again… why can't I remember who?... from the past?... another forgotten memory… I stared at him… he didn't say anything… he wasn't saying anything… until Sanzo arrived… _

_Where is he?... he demanded… he was furious… I could tell his eyes were burning as they gazed at Sanzo… the monk didn't reply at first… his eyes disappeared beneath his bangs… when I heard him say… He's dead… Cho Gono… is dead…_

_He didn't believe what he heard… nor did I… I couldn't believe Sanzo didn't do anything to stop it from happening… how… how… heartless could he be… even though it was the Three Buddhas' decision… at least he should've done something… but when Gojyo asked this from Sanzo… he said 'nothing'… he did nothing… _

_I was in the verge of tears… it was hard to keep them back… I felt… for the first time in my life… it was Sanzo's fault… all his fault… his cold heartedness… I didn't know what to do… I wanted to hit him… I also wanted to save him… stupid thing to do… I was about to shout something rude at Sanzo when… there was a knock on the door… _

_A man… with a face so familiar… if only I remembered who… from my life 500 years ago… but it pained me to think about it anymore… just let forgotten memories be where they are… at the back of my head…_

_The man entered… he was holding a basket of apples… I almost cried… Gojyo almost ran over me when he tried to come close him… Sanzo didn't smile… he didn't even say anything… He just sat on the chair… got a newspaper and started reading the news…_

_You said… you said he's dead!... glared Gojyo but he was smiling… Sanzo removed his reading glasses and looked at him… I said Cho Gono is dead… he's not Cho Gono any more… Sanzo said… I almost laughed… he has a point… if he isn't Cho Gono now… who is he then?..._

_I asked him what his new name was… he smiled at me and said… Cho Hakkai… well… for me… it was definitely better than Cho Gono… Hakkai… nice name… I told him not to change anymore… so that I won't forget…_

_It became clear to me… as our journey that day started… it didn't matter what happened in the past… what matters is the present… I know that these people I'm with now… Sha Gojyo… Cho Hakkai… and Genjo Sanzo… have been a part of a past… a past that has been forgotten… I know… though I can't remember… there's something about them that tells me so… it's their feelings toward me… and mine to them… so… let the past be the past… remain there where it belongs… let the present be something special… something different… since it cannot be easily forgotten… _

_What makes me say that?... it's the present… a gift… you don't easily forget gifts... do you?..._

_**owari**_


End file.
